Remove the phone cruft; add some sensible storage for a media player, and I’ll buy one!
Update: June 21, 2016. This was posted 3 days after the iPhone was announced in 2007 (it was released 8 months later in the UK, exclusively with a contract on o2). By then, Apple had released the iPod Touch, which was just what I was after: an iPhone without the phone, better storage, thinner, lighter and less expensive. I bought one.
Steve Jobs remarked that the iPod Touch was “training wheels for iPhone”, and sure enough I eventually graduated to an iPhone. I bought a two-year-old iPhone 4S in 2013 and while it’s getting a bit long in the tooth, it’s still going strong.